The mind is like a very thin liquid. It is most beautiful when it remains still. But, it can break into simmering ripples, undulating waves or even an unbounded tsunami with the slightest of disturbance. The mind is also like a transparent, clear liquid. It can become colored. The color can be anything. Any thought is like a color. Thoughts can be worrying thoughts, pleasant thoughts, thoughts of gloom and doom, desperation, happiness, elation and many more. These are the different emotions which color our thoughts. This evening, after coming back from the office, I was not feeling fully alive. Some irritating thought was running as a background process which was kind of slowing down my mind. I could feel it. But I could not put a finger onto it. I could not trace which thought process was slowing it down. There were a zillion thoughts flashing in my mind and it was in all a state of chaos. It was like a giant muddy wave - unclear, uncontrollable and unorganized.
I tried to gather my thoughts to control and stabilize them. In fact, I wanted to kill them all. Going for a run would definitely help, I deduced. Hence, went for a short run. It did help. That was some 'me time'. It was a half hour of time that I spent with myself, planning what to do next and prioritizing. It calmed me down quite a lot. During my run, I decided to do a few things that would help me further arrest my thoughts. I had discontinued the practice of meditation for the last 3 weeks that I was sick. So, after I was back from my run, I sat alone for 2 minutes. I focused on my breath. I meditated on forgiveness today - on forgiving myself for what I did and did not do and forgiving others for what they did and did not do. Then I spent a few minutes reviewing the goals and priorities in my life. That helped stabilize me even more. And finally I thought what better way than to vent out all remaining vestiges of thought in my blog.
So that is what I am doing now. I feel quite calm and collected now. The waves have died down. The sediments have settled. No more thoughts tsunami. It is all peace and calm now.